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Good gawd!!! Have you seen how long it is has been since I posted my last blog?!?!?
Well, a lot has happened since then.
But a few things have remained the same. taxes are still high, george bush is still a moron. the us military is still the word's police force, and white people are still really ugly.
I have however stopped hating whiteys specifically. Now I have decided that I hate all humans equally. Yep, that's right, even you brown people now suck. Heee Heee! no one is safe from my ire. I cimply can't stand the noise and smell and sheer stupidiy of humans. They are the only herd animal that actually becomes more stupid in large groups. Other creatures function well in a pack, swarm, herd, etc. But you can just look at those fucking idiots all over the world who are killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.That's all these stoopid holy wars are. So I have decided that ALL humans are imbeciles and so I hate you all.
Maaannnn!!! This weekend has been positively insane!!
It has gone from the heights if bliss (My Husband and I had our first mosh together at Buzzfest on Saturday during the PM5K show) to being utterly horrible.
My Great Grandma died on Sunday. That totally sucked. I held her hand the whole time, and talked about stupid shit like her cooking and how when I was little we used to go shopping and have fun. I don't know if I told her how much I loved her enough, or if she even understood or knew who I was. This sucks sooo bad!! And now I'm in such a foul mood I'm just waiting for somebody to do or say something stupid so that I can beat the shit out of them. I want someone else to know how much pain I am in. I want them to feel it too.
so now my patience with stupid asshole white people and their stupid asshole white bullshit has officially come to an end. WHITE PEOPLE BEWARE!!!! You really don't wanna set me off. Your families may just suffer right along with you!!!
My husband Bear snores like A Grizzly with a Sinus problem. He's even woken himself up doing it. And what's worse, he likes to roll over and throw his arm over me and snore in my ear in his sleep. It drives me crazy. I've even pinched him trying to get him to wake up or stop. All this does is make him grunt and roll over and go right back to snoring. If he doesn't stop, i'm going to just loose it and start beating him with a pillow for disrupting my sleep.
Yep, It's true. I'm just a lazy Slacker who can't even muster up the energy to scoot my little brown hinie over to the Computer and blog every day. Sad, isn't it?
So Last night, the power went out in my area of Nashville.
I think a Transformer or something blew right down the road because it sounded like a gunshot. And my Hubby had the night off last night and we were going to have a couple of friends over to watch Equilibrium (for about the hundredth time) and eat popcorn and all that trash, and right before my Hubby and his Friend could check out over at Blockbuster the power went out. I was sitting at home with my Roomie and one of our mutual friends talking when it all went dark. I was cool though because we just sat out on the porch and talked and ate chips and salsa and still had a good time, regardless of the lack of TV. So maybe you can have fun just being out on the porch watching the sky light up with lighning and yapping with some Buds over chips and Salsa. Who knew?
Holy shit, for once I'm not actually pissed off and everything. Wow. I got up today in a really foul mood and had to deal with my husband's Christian Mother. So by all right I should be so pissed off right now I can't see straight, but I'm not. Isn't it weird? I don't know why I'm not pissed either. I have this feeling of peace and goodwill twoards humans. I think I'm sick!!! Hopefully this is only temporary and tomorrow I'll be back to detesting the mere sight of all you pink, smelly bags of flesh and idiocy.
Geez, I haven't blogged in a while, and so much has happened. My past week has been so insane and hectic it's not funny. The only two bits of fun I've had all week were visiting my Brother the night before last and going to a party last night. The party was cool, I saw people I hadn't seen in a long time, and all the people I don't like didn't come, so it was good. I talked to this guy that I used to think was a total jerk and actually found out we have a lot in common, like having really Dysfunctional Families. I had fun watching everybody get drunk and make asses of themselves in one way or another. I don't drink so I was the designated driver. Thankfully, no one threw up or anything so I'd say it was a good party.
But earlier this week I got really pissed off at my husband for inviting people over to the house without asking me and we got into a huge fight and are still having fallout from it. So the rest of my week from that point on has been pretty crappy. Folks, don't ever argue when you are mad. Just walk away. Fighting just makes it worse because you will both say really hurtful things to each other, and once something is said, you can never really take it back. Just go someplace, calm down and then come back to whatever the problem is and discuss it rationally.
And don't make accusations.
Well, that's all for MissManners' advice on how to behave grown-up. Back to the Grrrl life
Yesterday I saw something that really pissed me off. It was this guy calling himself an "artifacts Collector" (a.k.a. Grave Robber) Everyone knows this guy is a looter. He takes burial items from Native graves and sells them. And he was on TV acting like he was some expert on the Native culture. It really made me sick. All this guy know is greed and evil. If he really knew My culture, he would know that we leave the dead alone and don't violate their bodies and resting places.
There is a law against doing what this guy does, robbing graves, but no one can prove anything-yet. Why the hell would any one want to touch what has been on or near a dead body? Is it just that Whitepeople have no sense of shame or decency? No sense of what is disgusting? And why do you have to dig us up, as if you hadn't bothered us enough in life you have to defile us in death? People, this problem is rampant and the only way to stop these savages is to hurt them the only way it counts: in the pocketbook. Do not buy Native Artifacts. Report these bastards to the authorities. Or if the authorities suck, find a local Native rights organization and report it to them. Stop these bastards before they dig every last one of us up.
I don't know what the psychology is behind the people who do this. I know you have to be a very sick and disturbed person to abuse a corpse.
Arrghh!!! I can't even articulate my frustration and anger at this shit right now. Are most whites like this? Do White people not find anyhting wrong with disturbing the dead? If so this shows exactly how uncivilized and low they really are. Worse than animals. Prove Me wrong, for your sakes!!!
So. I had my little brother over for the night, and we watched this movie Equilibrium. It is a totally awesome movie set in the future. At first the plot seemed kinda goofy as it centers around these guys called the Grammaton Clerics who are supposed to seek and destroy people who have - get this - feelings. That's right, feelings. Apparently in the future emotion is considered a dangerous thing and is therefore outlawed. Aside from this slightly silly premise, it really is a good movie, and the action sequences are incredible. They are based on this fighting systen called "Gun Kata" where the gun becomes an extension of the body in a Martial Art based on the careful mathematical analysis of thousands of recorded gun fights.
It is absolutely incredible. I think that if some one really did put some research into the theories put forth by this movie, a viable new martial artform could emerge.
Either way, I highly reccomend this movie. Four stars, two thumbs and a hell yeah!
Okay. So I had a chance to read what I wrote last night after sleeping off what it was that got me in a pissy mood in the first place, and I made some good points, I just didn't articulate them well enough.
I shouldn't say that all whites are stupid or ignorant, because I've got some really awesome friends who are white and everything. And when you're in a moshpit, race means diddle. The only predjudice in a pit is gender, but if a girrrl is willing to throw down like the dudes and take her lumps, acceptance eventually comes. Then when some dumb guy who isn't part of the scene makes a comment about "what's that girl doing here" some of your mosh brothers and sisters with whom you've sweated and bled, will most likely beat the crap out of the offending party and toss him out on his ass. Every once in a while these dudes apologise for being dumb males and everything is cool.
I guess you could say that life is like a pit. You wade in not knowing what you'll run into and take the good and bad just like everyone else, and in the end you may be bruised and bleeding but you're stronger in spirit and friendship for it. And bruises are only temporary.
Okay, so this is my first blog. I have no clue what to write, and no clue of how often I'll write. All I know is that I've got a lot of pent-up anger and am in desperate need of a place to vent.
Why an I angry? Oh, a lot of reasons. Should I start with the superficial ones? Ok.
I am angry because I am walking and living on land that my ancestors one dwelled upon but is now overrun with stinking, bloated noisy monsters known as whitepeople. I am angry because I can't be openly Native without some stupid ass giving me some story about how they had a native grandmaw or some shit. I am angry because I can't just beat the crap out of people who ask me dumb questions like "Are you an Indian?" NO! I am NOT an Indian goddamit! Indians are from INDIA, and they get pissed off about stupid whiteys fucking that shit up too. And I am so Tired of people making some big f-ing deal out of my heritage.
I hate those stupid whitepeople who come to pow-wows with their ugly pink offspring dressed up like the disney version of pocahontas. That slut was a white-loving collaborator. The Atlantic Coast tribes Really fucked the rest of us over when they fed those damn people. I would have let their nasty ignorant white selves STARVE to death. It would have sent a message to the rest of the damn potential squatters: stay away!
I don't know who wrote this, but it is one of my favorite poems. I couldn't possibly say it better than this Sister.
I AM NOT YOUR PRINCESS
Sandpaper between two cultures which tear
one another apart
I'm not a means by which you can reach spiritual understanding or even learn to do beadwork
I'm only willing to tell you how to make fry bread
1 cup flour, spoon of salt, spoon of baking powder
Stir Add milk or water or beer until it holds together
Slap each piece into rounds Let rest
Fry in hot grease until golden
This is Indian food
only if you know that Indian is a government word
which has nothing to do with our names for ourselves
I won't chant for you
I admit no spirituality to you
I will not sweat with you or ease your guilt with fine turtle tales
I will not wear dancing clothes to read poetry or
explain hardly anything at all
I don't think your attempts to understand us are going to work so
I'd rather you left us in whatever peace we can still
scramble up after all you continue to do
If you send me one more damn flyer about how to heal myself
for $300 with special feminist counseling
I'll probably set fire to something
If you tell me one more time that I'm wise I'll throw up on you
Look at me
See my confusion Loneliness fear worrying about all our
struggles to keep what little is left for us
Look at my heart not your fantasies Please don't ever
again tell me about your Cherokee great-great grandmother
Don't assume I know every other Native Activist
in the world personally That I even know names of all the tribes
or can pronounce names I've never heard
or that I'm expert at the peyote stitch
If you ever again tell me how strong I am
I'll lay down on the ground & moan so you'll see
at last my human weakness like your own
I'm not strong I'm scraped
I'm blessed with life while so many I've known are dead
I have work to do dishes to wash a house to clean
There is no magic
See my simple cracked hands which have washed the same things you wash
See my eyes dark with fear in a house by myself
late at night
See that to pity me or to adore me
are the same
1 cup flour, spoon of salt, spoon of baking powder, liquid to hold
Remember this is only my recipe There are many others
Let me rest
here
at least
Do you get it? Do you understand? This I how I feel. This is how a lot of us feel. We get spit on, beat up and you people still expect us to be gracious to you! I am not some quaint, colorful remnant of early american history. I am a living person! I am so tired of whitepeople getting all pissed off and everything like I've disenfranchised them by not living up to what they thought a "Real Indian" is.
I don't wear warpaint or live in a teepee or smoke a peacepipe or any of that. I wear gothic and Punk styles and listen to Rammstein and Bikini Kill and all sorts of music.
I paint and draw and slamdance and sing absurd songs about my hubby's smelly boots at the top of my lungs in the shower. I laugh at stupid movies and Cry at the sad ones. (I bawled at the end of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. That ending Blew! No one got to be happy.)
I am so tired of people thinking that all Native artistic expressions are frozen in time around the 1800s We are a living, dynamic culture just like everyone else, so why is it that you think that all our shit has to be primitive?
Go check out the NMAI website and look at some of the gorgeous art that some of these Native Brothers and Sisters are producing. A lot of them are frustrated and pissed too.
Well, now that I've made myself sound like a total psycho racist, I'm gonna go to bed.
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